We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
oh god the rape fog is back!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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