A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you didnt know i had herpes?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
