i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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