I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
