my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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