The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize