You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize