I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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