If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
