dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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