Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
