No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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