What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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