I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize