Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
