If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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