I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
