It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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