Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I am naked and annoyed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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