I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
