You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
