Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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