I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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