I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
