He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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