Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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