Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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