careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
