Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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