I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize