Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
