So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
