Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
