Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
