I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
