I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
