You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
