How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
