I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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