Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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