She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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