South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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