Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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