You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i think i just lost a toe
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
