Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
