Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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