Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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