i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
