very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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