A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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