Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
