very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
