If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
