i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
