This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
