can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
