So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
