hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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