Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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