i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
