It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
