i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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