just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
