how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
