You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
