she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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