I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
