either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
