let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize