Someone shit on the floor
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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