you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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