This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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