Just took my morning after pill in the library
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
