Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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