Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
home. puking in laundry basket.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
