I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
