I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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