Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
