From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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